


Celebrity Status

by christophersymes



Category: Original Work
Genre: Bands, Gay, LGBTQ Character, M/M, Musicians, Original Character(s), Original Fiction, Trans, Trans Character, Transgender
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2020-02-27 13:22:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18739882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/christophersymes/pseuds/christophersymes
Summary: When Jullian Hill logged onto his Nosam fansite and met Elias, he had no idea what kind of world he was unlocking for himself...





	1. prologue: interview with jordan hall

“Alright,” talk show host Jordan Hall cleared his throat, taking an excited breath, “I’ve got to be absolutely honest. I’ve been nervous about this week’s guests ever since I knew who it was going to be.”

He comically rubbed his hands down the sides of his pants. “My hands are clammy, my hair’s— tell me the truth, is my hair a mess?” He ran a hand through his coiffed hair.

The audience shouted dissent, then laughed as a few viewers in the front row complimented him.

“Okay, good, good.” Jordan grinned, gripping the mic a little harder, posture straightening as he walked across the stage.  “I’ve been bugging my wife all week, blasting their music and trying to hide my hopeless crushes, I’ve been listening to them for way longer than that, and now I think I’ve stretched this introduction long enough. Without further fanboying, here’s Mason, Austin, Chris, and Andrew, the boys of Nosam!”

The audience drowned out most of Jordan’s words,  whose noise was liable to render a person temporarily deaf. Behind them, a screen showed clips of the band, Mason shirtless and sweaty, ever the theatrical frontman. Chris and Austin nearby, bass and guitar, making faces at each other, and a shot of long hair momentarily covering Andrew’s face from behind a drum set. The boys shook Jordan’s hand and sat alongside the host. Jordan had to signal the crowd to quiet down when they showed no signs of stopping.

“Jordan, hi, you’re like, my favorite host of all time,” Chris said as he sat down between Austin and Andrew, getting a playful flick of the ear from Andrew.

Mason, closest to Jordan, leaned in close, whispering loudly. “He’s only saying that because he’s a kiss-up.”

Jordan laughed, “You say that as if it makes a difference to me. Chris, you’re my favorite bassist of all time, and I’m not only saying that because you’re the only bassist whose name I know.”

Chris laughed, blushing lightly after having gotten up to shove at Mason.

Jordan exhaled, looking at them. “You’re all even prettier in person,” he breathed wistfully, cueing laughter from everyone. He grinned, leaning forward, “Seriously, you guys are unbelievable. You took over the world so fast, and you’ve still got conspiracy theorists reeling. Are you aliens? Are you a government-formed group intent on putting a trance on the masses? Is there a Nosam fan cult working to boost publicity and further adding to your talent?”

Mason was leaning forward in his seat, an amused grin slowly growing on his face. Andrew looked mildly disturbed by the words coming out of the host’s mouth, Austin was trying not to laugh, and Chris looked like he wanted to Google all of this.

“I don’t— I think they don’t want us to comment on this…” was Austin’s ominous response, trying to hide a smile. Andrew nodded, expression blank.

“We will say this, though,” Mason glanced at his bandmates, “we don’t think Andrew’s human.”

Jordan gasped at this, glancing at Andrew. “Andrew? Is this true?”

Andrew met his eyes, staring and not blinking. Jordan moved as if to look away, but kept the eye contact, biting his lip nervously. Someone backstage played a suspenseful piano melody. Andrew cracked a smile that made Jordan laugh.

“I guess that’s another theory to look into. So, you guys are about to go on another tour, of course. I’ve got to say, and I’m sure everyone else agrees, it’s impressive how much energy and dedication you have. Every time I look, you guys are performing! Doesn’t it get exhausting?”

Mason looked to the others. “Sometimes, yeah, but… I don’t know, I guess we’re addicted. It’s a rush, it’s being as close to fans, to people, as possible. Making them smile, feeling that intimacy, that joy. What we were always after was performing, it’s our favorite part of being Nosam.”

Jordan smiled. “Very lovingly put. That love and passion definitely shows at every one of your concerts. You’ve recently come up on five years of being together. How’s that feel?”

Chris made a face. “You make it sound like we’re married.”

Mason laughed, pinching the cheek of the closest victim, Austin. “God, I wish, sweetheart.”  
“Not this again,” Austin groaned, moving away into Chris, which caused him to knock into Andrew, who pushed at all of them, making everyone crack up.

“As bandmates, it’s interesting,” Chris announced, pushing away from them and rolling his eyes good-naturedly. “But, really, it’s been unbelievable. Going from cover sessions alone in my room with Mason to playing at the O2 and Madison Square Garden and The Forum— tens of thousands of people— it’s— it’s just more than I— we— could have ever imagined five or even two or three years ago.”

Andrew had his head in his hand, leaning on the armrest as he listened to Chris, but he frowned and stared at him as he talked about the venues. “The only place we haven’t played is the Bubble Bowl.”

Mason wheezed loudly, joined by Austin, Chris, and the audience’s equally loud laughter.

It took a second for the penny to drop, and then Jordan laughed and nodded as he responded to Chris’ words. “To be honest, some people expected the Nosam hype to die down a while ago.”

“But it’s only gotten stronger!” Mason grinned, blowing kisses at the crowd.

“Yes, to the point you’re being called the biggest boy band in the world— which, I know you guys are a little sensitive to being called a boy band—” Jordan couldn’t help but laugh. “Especially with Starlight’s endless teasing.”

“Did somebody say Stella?” Austin joked, whipping his head towards Jordan.

Mason smirked, “Down, boy, your master’s not here, so you can— ow!” He pouted as he got a well-deserved whack in the head from the guitarist.  

“That is another very interesting factor in conspiracy theories. How three of you managed to date— and not just date— but fall for all the members of an all-girl band is astounding.”

“Even more astounding is that Mr. Frontman is the one left single.” Austin grinned mischievously, making Andrew laugh and Mason roll his eyes.

“Ha. Ha. Yes, I’m single.” Mason looked to the crowd, winking. “I don’t think you guys mind that much, do you?”

The crowd whooped and hollered, some of them wolf-whistling.

Jordan put a hand on Mason’s arm. “It’s okay, Mason. I’m sure you’ll find someone soon.”

“Aw, come on. Why’re you guys bashing being single? Nothing wrong with it. And I get to enjoy the company of many lovely ladies. I’m charming and sociable by birth.”

Jordan chuckled at that, shaking his head. “You’ve got a point. I do believe you on that. Oh, to be young and as incredibly attractive as you, Mason!” He put a hand to his chest, looking up to the ceiling.

Mason pouted, pointing a finger at him and getting up to hug him, “Oh, Jordan, don’t do that. You’re a beautiful man.”

“Stop it, Mason, I’m starting to rethink my entire marriage with you holding me like this.”

The audience loved that, and they cheered for everyone to give Jordan a group hug. Jordan happily drowned under the boys, making sure to remind the camera that he loved his wife, but he wouldn’t mind sharing. When they finally let him go, Jordan was still smiling. “Regardless, Mason, everyone finds it hard to believe you won’t find someone to tie you down.”  
“On the contrary, I’m usually the one doing the tying.” Mason wiggled his eyebrows as they sat down. “I’m not easily tamed.”

“We’ll see about that,” Jordan grinned, motioning for the boys to follow. “I’ve got a game I’d like to play with you guys, it’s sort of a dating game— Austin, feel free to opt out, I don’t really want to get you murdered…”

Austin blushed, but actually seemed to consider it before saying, “Don’t be ridiculous, Jordan.”

* * *

 

Jules giggled at something Austin said in the interview, leaning against his twin, Rosaline’s shoulder. “God. I fucking love them so much.”

Rosa laughed, shoving back at him. “I know you do, dumbass. Your entire fucking life revolves around them!”

Jules scoffed. “Does not. I have a job. And school.”

“And the fansite, and Nosam, and your love for Austin, and your irrational hatred for Mason–”

“I don’t hate him,” Jules groaned. She always said he hated Mason. He didn’t hate any of them! “He’s just an asshole sometimes. And he’s so easy to pick on, Rose. He’s a bigger whore than you!”

Rosa faked being offended, laughing a little. “No one is a bigger whore than me! Hear that? No one!”

Jules stared at her in amusement, then shook his head. “You’re an enigma, Rosie.”

“What did you just call me?”

“…An enigma?”

Rosaline jumped on Jules, dislodging the laptop as she tried to hit his head in retaliation for calling her Rosie. He laughed, just yelling the nickname instead, tackling her back onto the bed.

The fight ceased after she shoved a pillow over his face, and Jules laughed into it, kicking her lightly on the chest. She fell down next to him, sighing heavily. Jules pulled the pillow off his face and shoved it under his head, turning to look at her. The talk show was still playing in the background, but they’d both seen it twice already. By now, Mason was being an idiot and flirting with Jordan all over again, singing some song to him to seduce him.

Rosa looked over at Jules. “Hey, I’ve got a question.”

“Yeah? You’re my fucking twin, just spit it out.” 

“How come you’re still at home putting up with Mom? It doesn’t make sense, Julesy. She treats you like shit, and so does Derek half the time. At least with him, I understand it, he’s twelve, he’s rotten. But Mom…”

“I’m her kid,” Jules sighed. He shrugged a little. “What she said earlier… It’s just her still coming to terms. She’s being pretty shitty, yeah, considering it’s been about five years, but I expect it this time of month anyway. It’s when the bill usually comes.” 

Rosa sighed. “But she’s our mom. Shouldn’t she love us all the same?”

Jules rolled his eyes, smiling at Rosa. “I’m sure she does. She just… doesn’t show it the same. I’m fine, Rosa, I’m over it again. It’s easier lately.” 

But that was a lie. Nothing was easier lately. He was finishing up school, soon to be a graduated music student, with no fucking idea what he’d do with his life beyond waiting tables. Maybe with his psych minor he could do some kind of music therapy, but… Even then, he’d want out of Michigan and far away from his mom and her transphobic, snippy remarks on his gender, the monthly bills from the hospital from five years ago, how he was never home to help his brother learn guitar, how he was totally unexpected when he came out just after Rosa in birth… 

“I know when you’re lying, baby brother,” Rosa said quietly. She smiled softly at him, then kissed his forehead as she leaned up to grab the laptop again. “Hey, dude, isn’t there a new interview coming out in a bit?”


	2. chapter one

Jules, grinning mischievously, set the game discs down in a row on the hardwood in front of the TV stand. Rosa’s heels clicked on the floor as he did and she moved in anticipation of what she was about to do. He set the last disc down gently after kissing it, then stood up to admire the line. His gaze turned to Rosa, who looked down at them, then back up at him. 

“Yes, princess, you can go ahead,” he said with a flourish and bow, tossing the cases on the floor. 

The discs cracked under Rosa’s heels as she jumped on them, stomped on them, ground them into the floor. She leaned down and picked up the pieces afterward, too, snapping them and tossing them on the bed. After she’d done that to every single one, she stomped all of the cases, tossing them on the bed as well. 

She was fucking ruthless, and Jules loved it. He loved his sister, and that was exactly why he was doing this shit. He stomped the last one before her, his combat boot snapping the plastic case’s edge, then kicked it over to her. She did the same, then set it in front of the TV, smiling sweetly. 

“Hope you enjoy your gameless existence, you dick,” she murmured, already unplugging the Playstation from the TV. “This is what you get for trying to rape me.” 

Jules felt his stomach fall at her words, but knew it was true. A week ago, he and his friend Sam had walked in on Rosa and Dickwad Josh at a party. Rosa had been trying to push Josh off her, and it took both Jules and Sam to get him away. 

As usual, they’d both guaranteed they’d exact their revenge, and make it ten times worse than what they usually did because the guy had almost succeeded. 

They showed up at his house when they were sure he was gone, and went inside to speak to his parents. They’d listened as Rosa described what happened, and Jules told them he’d witnessed it and that their son was a dick in the first place too, who would sometimes grope Rosa in front of everyone. 

They’d all agreed he needed to learn a very, very severe lesson. 

So, naturally, they showed them both up to his room and told them what they could destroy. They both took the opportunity to kill his games, and were now dismantling his Playstation and controllers. 

Once they had everything gathered in their arms, they went downstairs and outside. Jules waved a controller affectionately at his parents, who grinned back at him. They’d hated how much Josh played games, anyway, and they were really nice people in a not so good neighborhood. There was a kid down the street who would  _ kill  _ for the console, so Jules and Rosa knocked on the door happily. 

“Hi,” Rosa said, grinning. “We’re from the house down there, the Pinnows. Uh— Well, Josh, their son, he knew that your kid really wanted a Playstation and that you guys couldn’t get one, so we come bearing a gift.” 

They both lifted the console and cords. “It’s a little worn, but Josh wanted you guys to have it.”

The dad took it thankfully, a little shocked as he laughed. “Holy shit. Thank you.” 

After a little bit of awkward conversation, they left again, grinning at the good deed they did in the middle of revenge. Jules shoved at Rosa. “You feeling better?”

“Fuck yes. He deserves all this shit. Dick.” Rosa laughed, clapping her hands together. She rubbed them greedily. “What can we destroy now?”

“How about slashing his tires? Make him pay, sis,” Jules said, passing her his pocket knife. He took her hand and set it in her palm, then kissed her forehead. “Careful, though. We don’t need you slashing your hand open.”

⧫

Mason Hill moved his head along to the music blasting into his eardrums as he fucked around on his laptop. He was in the mood for going incognito online, wanting to interact with fans without them knowing it was him. He had been hearing about this awesome Nosam forum for a while but hadn't made an account yet. He figured it was time for that to change. He cracked his knuckles in front of his chest and stuck out his tongue, grinning as he saw the first empty text box to fill beside the word  _ Username. _

"Easy," he murmured to himself, immediately typing  _ masonfucker1000  _ into the box.

He frowned at the next prompt. _ Name _ ? Huh. He drummed his fingers against his leg, glancing at Austin, sitting nearby him on the tour bus. "Dude, what was your middle name again?"

Austin gave him a curious look as he stopped playing his guitar, pushing his glasses up. "Elías? Why do you ask?"

Mason clicked his tongue at him, winking. "Nothing important. Nice name, handsome."

Austin opted not to respond, shaking his head and watching him suspiciously before going back to his guitar.

Mason typed Elías into the box. He figured a shit ton of people were 23 and it would be harmless to put that in, so he did that too. He put in a fanart edit of himself as the image— him wearing a flower crown, one of his favorites— and hit  _ Create Account _ , smiling in satisfaction. He went to the welcome thread to make his first post.

_ masonfucker1000: hey!! im maybe older than most fans but I just wanted you all 2 know that even though im straight, i would let mason hill do anything he wanted to me  _

Austin kept glancing up at him, effectively distracted by Mason wanting his middle name for what was probably a horrible reason. 

“Seriously, what are you doing?”

“Joining a Nosam forum, obviously,” Mason scooted closer to him, moving the laptop close to his face with a flourish. 

Austin stared at the screen, looking from the glittery website’s title, to the header with their faces, and then to Mason’s post. “Why are you always so disturbingly narcissistic to the point where I’m almost certain you’d actually fuck yourself if given the opportunity?”

Mason tilted his head, nodding as he spoke. “Because I would, Ozzie,” he pecked his neck and then, mouth at his ear, repeated in a whisper. “Because I would.”  

 

Jules, alone in his bedroom after the revenge-destroying, was fucking around on the Nosam forum. As usual. He was one of the top members, had helped design the site as a school project, was friends with about half the people on the site, and loved them all. They were really his only friends, so it was easy to love them all. 

He refreshed the page just in time to see a new comment in the welcome thread. No one had joined in a while, so it was interesting. It wasn’t exactly the most popular website, so… Oh, their name was Elias… That was Austin’s middle name. Maybe he’d finally have another Austin stan.

And of course, they loved Mason. God damn it, everyone did. He sighed but hit reply anyway. A new friend was a new friend. 

_ familyjules: hey elias! welcome to the nosam fanbase!!! also: ew but go off i guess ;) _

Mason gasped loudly, falling back against the small sofa. "Ew?  _ Ew? _ "

He furrowed his eyebrows in concentration as he immediately replied. 

_ masonfucker1000: jules! hi! thanks! also! what the hell! how can you resist the unique and godly allure that only mason joshua hill possesses? _

Jules snorted, rolling his eyes. He leaned on his wall as he typed, laughing a little to himself. 

_ familyjules: i’m too entranced by the unique and godly allure that only austin possesses, ....masonfucker1000. i just realized this point is totally moot but i’m still gonna fight it to my dying breath: austin elías salinas vicente is better than mason hill in so many ways but i respect your opinion my dear masonfucker _

Mason sighed loudly and took off his snapback, throwing it at Austin, who yelped in surprise.

"What the hell?"

Mason glared at him. "That's for having a godly allure, Salinas."

Austin sputtered, confused. 

_ masonfucker1000: you say you respect my opinion, familyjules? really? u might as well have spat in my face. austin. better than mason. my god. i will try to coexist peacefully with radical beliefs such as urs.  _

_ also: is ur profile pic u? _

Jules laughed at the dramatics. He hadn’t had this much fun meeting someone in a while. They were actually taking his jokes  _ as jokes _ .

_ familyjules: thank you for your precious coexistence, fellow radical believer. and yeah dat me _

Mason didn't know why the Nosam fanbase just happened to be super attractive, but he always appreciated nonetheless. 

_ masonfucker1000: my dude, fellow believer, may i just say that ur face is v nice to look at. one might even say it radiates a certain godly allure  _

Jules blushed a little. People had called him attractive before, but not like  _ that _ . Damn. 

_ familyjules: thank you!! i guess ur pfp is kinda okay to look at... ;) _

Mason huffed, pouting. That was just not at all fair. He couldn’t even defend his own good looks. 

_ masonfucker1000: ha. ha. so how long have u been into nosam? sorry, i meant: how long have u been brainwashed into thinking nosam was called nitsua?  _

Jules laughed at that one. It was good. Elias was funny. 

_ familyjules: i actually laughed at that one! nitsua just sounds like a ninja name or something. and i’ve been into them since their first ep came out! found them on youtube and felllllllll. how about you? _

Mason grinned. Hardcore fan. Hell, yeah. Call him a narcissist. Nosam was awesome and superbly talented, and Mason appreciated when other people knew it. 

_ masonfucker1000: me too! nosam sorta changed my life. listen to them way more than a sane person should.  _

Someone else on the thread pointed out that that page was for welcoming and not conversation. Mason stuck out his tongue at his laptop screen.

_ masonfucker1000: whoops. heading to gen, familyjules?  _

Jules sighed a little at the comment, rolling his eyes. He’d  _ made _ the website. It was his rule. And he’d broken it. 

_ familyjules: whoops. yeah. i’ll tag u in a thread _

_ familyjules: @masonfucker1000 here we are. what yt video did you see first? _

_ masonfucker1000: teenage dirtbag cover! iconic as hell. have u ever seen them live? its the most fun i've ever had.  _

_ familyjules: hell yes! i love that one! and no ): but i’ve got tickets to a show this tour and im hype. gonna scream my ass off _

Mason's eyes widened. Oh,  _ yes _ . Mason befriending a fan and that fan attending a Nosam concert? That would be beautiful. 

_ masonfucker1000: really?? where? what day? on the off chance im going to the same 1 _

_ familyjules: Traverse City, MI. gonna glitter my face off too i’m gonna look great _

_ masonfucker1000: oh nah not going there! glitter! nosam hype! fuck yeah, i believe u, u already look great as is. michigan, huh? the hell do u do for fun there? _

_ familyjules: hockey, mostly. play bass too. try to run away from my family while blasting pop punk since no one gets me. freeze to death in snow _

_ masonfucker1000: hockey?? ur tiny! i think! bass is rad, how long have you been playing? pop punk is the shit, i get u, bro _

Jules smiled a bit. At least he didn’t say he was a girl. 

_ familyjules: bet i can whoop your ass even if i am tiny! and ive been playing for 5 years now. lots of nosam covers in the media thread if u wanna check it out! we gots a talented group here _

_ masonfucker1000: i bet u can i can barely hold a stick. _

_ a future seluj! charmed to meet u pre-fame. will def check out. _

Mason headed to the media thread and clicked on one of the audio files Jules had uploaded. His eyes widened, and he turned up the volume. 

Andrew, who had sat down in the far corner like the fucking loner he was, looked up at Mason as basslines filled the small space. "Hey, who's that? Not Chris, is it?"

Mason shook his head, mumbling, "Fan cover."

Andrew snorted, "Shit. That's good. You should show that to Chris when he gets back."

Mason played a few more covers, very impressed and a little doubtful. 

_ masonfucker1000: c'mon. c'mon, jules. no way that's u. _

_ familyjules: oh hell yeah that’s me. ask anyone on here i love playing so much. covered a few starlight songs too but i’m not as good at those yet. are u into them too? _

_ masonfucker1000: sure, sure. u stripped from chris, admit it, jules.  _

_ fuck yeah! love those badass ladiesss!  _

_ familyjules: whoa, dude, i’d never. if anything i’d strip for austin. if stella wouldn’t kill me _

_ masonfucker1000: pipe dream, jules. stella would 100% kill you. and then strip for austin herself. _

Jules sighed wistfully at that image. They were both ridiculously hot, and Stella stripping was just a mental image to frame and make lifesize on the mantel above the fireplace.

_ familyjules: can’t even join them? damn. my dreams are gone. can i share mason w/you then, masonfucker? he’s the only single one of all of them... wait. does your username mean you’re his hand then? shouldn’t you have his hand as your pfp? _

Mason's jaw dropped. "Holy fuck. I've never felt so roasted in my entire fucking life. Holy shit. Fucking— familyjules," he breathed a laugh, already typing out a response eagerly. Andrew rose an eyebrow at him, an action that Mason didn’t even notice. 

_ masonfucker1000: shit! how could u do him like that? he gets plenty of attention other than his hand! lots of it! mason hill gets around! its basic info! _

_ familyjules: ha! uses the other hand sometimes? ;) _

Mason lifted his arms behind his head. "This fucker!" he laughed again, rubbing his hands down his face. This Jules girl was ridiculous. If only she knew who she was talking to but... no, not a good idea. He stared at the screen, frowning as he realized he really wanted to keep talking to her, forgetting to respond and tapping his fingers against the laptop. He flipped Andrew off when he kept staring at him, taking the laptop and laying in his bunk instead. He could easily just not respond, like, ever. It wouldn’t matter at all. Jules was just some random fan he’d stumbled onto online, who had no idea who Mason was, with whom Mason had only had half a conversation with. Hell, he usually didn’t even have more than a conversation with people anyway, always having so many he wanted to talk to. But it wasn’t ever like this. And it was stupid, really, how drawn he felt from just a couple hundred words on a screen, from a stranger. It wasn’t even a good font. 

Mason pursed his lips, sighing quietly as he stared at the forum page, at the slight curve of Jules’ mouth in her profile picture. He abruptly switched tabs, checking his Twitter and replying to some fans. He Googled other fansites, ones he already had accounts on, and sifted through the threads, trying to find something else to do.

It was a bit before Elias responded again. Jules fucked around with other things on the site while he waited, scrolled through Tumblr, and then went back. He private messaged Elias, frowning a little. 

_ familyjules: hey dude. just so you know i fuck with all the mason superfans like that. it’s way too easy to roast mason _

Mason was startled when he heard a  _ ping _ as he had finally distracted himself from familyjules. He hesitated barely a second before switching back, smiling as he read the message. 

_ masonfucker1000: yeah its cool! got distracted. ur wrong tho. completely wrong. masons a regular manwhore _

_ familyjules: cool all good. just wanted to make sure you weren’t actually mad! and trust me i know far too many girls on here have talked about seeing his dick _

_ masonfucker1000: mad? over that? dont worry, bro, not at all _

_ gh! and they all say his dick is huge. which is false. have u seen him in skinny jeans? he's got an average dick, ladies. an average dick with an above average heart _

_ familyjules: damn dude. at least you’re honest unlike them. also sometimes it looks big so i wonder who’s right _ _ 👀 _

_ masonfucker1000: average dick.  _

_ fuck im starving. what do i have to do to get some pizza up in hereeeee _

_ familyjules: be mason hill?  _

_ familyjules: kidding! i’ll send you some _

_ masonfucker1000: you be careful or ill end up taking your word for it!! i swear my stomach is going to start eating itself  _

They ended up talking for a bit longer, but then Jules had to sleep, which made Mason pouty. It was rare for him to enjoy talking to someone this much, but Jules had a late shift the next day and classes all day, so he said goodbye and logged off, promising to be back same time the next day.

♦️

It kept like that for a week. Jules talked to Elias whenever he could, along with his other friends. He felt drawn to Elias for some reason, compelled to let the mysterious user eat up all his time. 

_ familyjules: so. mr. masonfucker. you’ve only got two things on your profile and it’s been a week. not even a small introduction to tell us about yourself other than you’d let mason have his way with you? i’m curious ;) _

During the week, Mason had become gradually more excited every time he had the chance to be online when Jules was, which had thankfully been coinciding with after Nosam sets. He bit his lip as he read the newest message from her. 

_ masonfucker1000: oh, youre curious? maybe i like the suspense ;) what about u, miss familyjules? im very curious about u. ur short bio is frankly not enough _

Jules winced at the response. So Elias did think he was a girl. He could set him straight... but he knew nothing about this person except that he was cis and straight. He seemed cool, but Jules really didn’t want to deal with a huge messy fight on the site right now. 

_ familyjules: hey, you know i live in michigan. and what i look like. and that i play bass and play hockey. i don’t even know what you do for fun, aside from stan mason. c’mon, dude _

Mason groaned. God, he could just disappear right now, not talk to her ever again. But he'd be fucking bummed. Was he just lonely? I mean, tours got like that sometimes. Maybe he just needed stress relief, although that was off the table at the moment. Shit. This wasn't a...  _ thing _ . Was it?

_ masonfucker1000: alright, alright! well, i do not live in michigan. i look like a burnt chicken nugget but i still love myself! i like singing and i've seen Real Steel abt a thousand times. how about that? _

_ familyjules: real steel is awesome! and singing! maybe you should be in seluj with me one day. we’d take over the world, displace nosam _

_ masonfucker1000: hell yeah! I'll let hugh jackman have at all this too  _ _ 🥒🍆 _

_ displace nosam? ur blocked _

_ masonfucker1000: kidding! totally up for it, let's go. altho it should be called saile, then _

_ familyjules: hey, you’re the one who named it seluj in the first place! maybe we’re getting ahead of ourselves tho. havent even heard u sing. for all i know you could suck _

_ masonfucker1000: thats where you're wrong, jules! that's where you're wrong! hold on _

Mason paced the tour bus, considering his options. He had to show her he could sing. If he sang a song nobody had ever heard him do, maybe it would be alright? 

_ masonfucker1000: uploaded  _ **_suckonthisjules.mp3_ **

_ masonfucker1000: go the distance! Hercules is my favorite disney movie. see? proof of my awesome talent and a fact abt me  _

Jules blinked in shock at the file, clicking play and leaning back. He listened, transfixed, picking at his lip. 

_ familyjules: holy shit elias you sound a lot like mason. did you train your voice or what? there were a few places where you were off key but god damn. also hercules is so underrated _

"Oh, fuck," Mason said as he read the response. "Wait— off key?" he glared at his laptop.

Andrew snorted. "A few minutes ago? Yeah."

Mason turned his glare towards Andrew. "I was not off key." 

Andrew just laughed and shook his head, stuffing his face with chicken.

Mason frowned. It's not his fault his voice was a little strained after the show. No way he was gonna admit it, though. 

He deleted the file he sent. 

_ masonfucker1000: ah yeah, a bit.  _

_ and go to hell. off key, my ass! i told you I can sing. hercules is def underrated! yo where do u go all day?  _

Jules frowned when the messages shifted. He scrolled back up to find the file gone. “Oh, come on,” he muttered. How paranoid could this guy be? It was a fansite. Who cared? 

_ familyjules: def off key a bit. you deleted the file because of it, i see you, devil  _ _ 👀 _

_ familyjules: oh also i’m a working college student! class by day, waiting tables by night _

_ masonfucker1000: i did not!  _

_ oh shit, nice! well, horrible, but nice. i bet you get good tips ;) what are u studying? _

_ familyjules: you’d be surprised how bad the tips are. studying music and psych, but the psych is a minor _

_ masonfucker1000: jules ill go over there and tip you, you'll be set for life. so ur serious abt music huh? what do u wanna do? _

_ familyjules: so youre rich. another thing i know now. and hell yeah i am! i want to work w/ a recording company if i can, fill in bass. more freelance than i’d like but it’s something _

_ masonfucker1000:  _ 🤑

_ masonfucker1000: woah woah wait. ur settling! what would you like? _

_ familyjules: settling? i don't call getting to play bass for a living settling _

_ familyjules: what i really want tho is to play in a band but that's unlikely _

_ masonfucker1000: uh huh _

_ masonfucker1000: i knew it! c'mon, unlikely? you're as good as chris if you're not lying abt not stripping his bass  _ _ 👀 _ _ maybe even better _

_ familyjules: WHOA dude dont disrespect christo like that he's a huge role model!! i wish i could be as good as him _

 

Mason smiled, getting up to bother Chris. "Yo, hey, dude?" 

Chris looked up from his laptop, rubbing his forehead. "Huh?"

"You know that girl I've been talking to that plays bass. She says you're her role model and got offended when I said she probably plays better than you."

Chris smiled warmly. "That's sweet."

"No, but, listen," Mason showed him an audio clip of Jules covering bass for one of their songs. Chris furrowed his eyebrows as he listened, running his fingers through his hair as his jaw went slack. "Shit. What? Geez— don't even tell the guys, they'll replace me."

Mason laughed loudly, ruffling Chris's hair. 

_ masonfucker1000: no disrespect to christo, i think you're incredibly good. u could definitely be better than him! u should try the band thing, bro, if thats what u really want _

_ familyjules: maybe. i have some stage fright too but been working on that. what do you do all day, mr. masonfucker? _

Aw, fuck. This was going to get frustrating for the both of them real quick. Mason didn't want to lie, but he couldn't tell her what he actually did all day. He could maybe explain that he was going to have to keep some (a lot of) personal information to himself? That would sound weird. Mason stared at the message, unsure what to do. He could be a bit of a dick and reply with a joke. Or something really vague. He'd only known Jules for a little over a week but he had a feeling he might not get away with that. 

_ masonfucker1000: how've you been working on it? _

_ masonfucker1000: and i think the more appropriate question is who don't i do all day  _

Oh, God, that was bad. He regretted sending that one. Mason found himself not wanting her to actually think he slept around all day. Or at all. Fucking hell.

 

Jules frowned at the reply. This was... interesting, he guessed. Or something like it. 

_ familyjules: so you're a prostitute? that's how you have so much money? _

Mason couldn't help but laugh at the response. 

_ masonfucker1000: what! no no _

Mason grumbled to himself, rubbing his hands down in face. 

_ masonfucker1000: that was a stupid thing for me to say, sorry _

_ masonfucker1000: i have a job that requires a lot of travel _

_ familyjules: okay that makes more sense. a traveling prostitute. sounds fun! what places have u seen? _

Mason rolled his eyes, smiling. 

_ masonfucker1000: oh, aaaall oooover the world. in the US rn, tho! i could put on a show for u ;) _

_ familyjules: maybe i'll take you up on that offer ;)  _

_ familyjules: hey im about to upload a new cover btw! it just finished uploading _

_ masonfucker1000: oh, another masterful christo strip!  _


End file.
